22 Apr Owning your “feminine” strengths

Trait 1: Being empathetic

How many times have you heard the words, “don’t think about it so much?” from a friend, a colleague or even your superior, when you take into consideration the impact on someone else and their feelings before you decide to go ahead with a particular plan or a task? How many times have you been accused of being too emotional or sensitive? How often have you been passed over for a project or promotion just because you don’t agree to a more aggressive, cold-blooded plan or you decide to take action based on its overall impact on people?

What some people call being too emotional, I recognise as empathy. A quality that enables us to genuinely care about and understand where others are coming from. It also makes the people we lead or work with feel more understood, supported and valued. You just have to be careful to be understanding and empathetic without adding sentimentality to the mix. For example if you are in a leadership position and your assistant’s pet dies. If you’re an empathetic person, you will  have compassion for her. You know how hard a pet’s death can be on a person. So you give her a half day, excuse some of her mistakes. Afterall you think, her pet died, she’s a little distracted. But if you add sentimentality to the mix, you might end up feeling guilty for not giving her more days off or for not excusing severe mistakes because her pet died and someone else could always cover for her. You do not take into account the fact that she is the only one who knows all the details for tomorrow’s important meeting. You do not think practically at that time, emotion clouds your judgement and you end up making a decision that may be good for your assistant but bad for the rest of the company.  If you are able to make a decision that accommodates both your assistant and the company, you will be able to make a clear and level headed decision.

Let’s face it people, sentimentality has a way of making fools of all of us, regardless of the gender. So the next time someone accuses you of being too emotional, remember that empathy = emotions, which equals to more support and recognition at the workplace.